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January 17 2018


one thing me n my art loving gf would do is visit galleries and play a game called “root, loot or boot” 

the gist is that you would look at a group of paintings in a room and decide which figure in the painting you’d root (fuck, in Australian slang), which painting you’d loot (steal and put on your wall at home) and which painting you’d boot (punt into the garbage because it’s shit and Not Art)

a couple of things about my experiences:

1. this game is a lot more fun if you’re attracted to women because there’s so many Hot Gals to choose from 

2. if you are attracted to men, you will spend a lot of time going “well, looks like I’ll have to pick jesus again” as my bi gf did

3. it gets more complicated in modern art museums and you find yourself having saying, “I’d fuck the rhombus” “you CAN’T fuck the rhombus” “then I’ll fuck that blue squiggle thing. what’s it called?” “creeping existential dread in blue” “then does that mean I’m fucking the squiggle or am I getting fucked by the existential dread it represents?” “aren’t we all already getting fucked by existential dread?”

4. if you play this with an art history nerd, they may decide to kill you over one of your “boot” choices

5. you will get Disapproving Looks from other patrons who overhear your heated debates

6. it’s also the best fun you’ll ever have in an art gallery




people really, really need to stop putting the word ‘yuri’ on lists of “bad and socially harmful words you shouldn’t use” alongside yaoi. as if the emtymology or connotations of those words is in any way similar

I’ve seen people say that ‘yuri is problematic, you should say shoujo-ai instead’ and i’m begging you to please, please reconsider your position there



yaoi: coined by doujinshi circles populated by fujoshis and refers exclusively to pornographic content. literally means “no point, no meaning”

yuri: coined by the lgbt community in Japan. refers to any kind of romantic or sexual intimacy between women, explicit or not. literally means “lily”

westerners for some reason: these are the same

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wales bonner, fall 2018





why are women who use a bow and arrow inherently attractive to all gay women?? I’m not complaining just curious like every wuhluhwuh i know fancied Susan from narnia like why is the gay hivemind focused on this

The implication of strong arms

god ur so right

Its the blessing of Artemis


Holding down the power button to turn something off is the equivalent of choking it until it’s unconscious

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Versace 110MM Embellished Leather Boots $15,550

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Adut Akech Bior photographed by Steven Meisel for Moschino Spring/Summer 2018





God I Wish I Were A Mongolian Archer

Bad Post OP.

Longbow master race.

Bro, for real, quit turning my posts into lakes of idiots trying to legit discourse with your character. You are peak entertainment, and I have no idea how people still think you are for real, you fooled an entire ocean of people desperately looking for a collective, easy, acceptable punchbag, which is honestly admirable, but please, my crops are dying, I have contracted seven different salmonellas, I am running out of goat blood to paint my door with in hopes to survive the vicious patrols of the Angel of Death one more day. I just want to post about weaponry in peace. I am merely an innocent man who just loves weapons. 


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minecraft pig interpretation guide


Necrobotany is such a cool idea like:

  • druidic nature magic + necromancy
  • undead skeletons being supported by plant fibers to make up for missing muscles and ligaments so they can run instead of shamble
  • turning said skeletons into multi limbed monstrosities with vine arms
  • or piecing together bones and limbs with vines to make fleshier monsters
  • adding thorns or huge venus fly traps or poison onto minions
  • undead exploding into petals and leaves like a smokescreen, or infecting opponents with disease from pollen
  • suffocating opponents from the stench of rotten minions and corpse flowers
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andrea kevichüsa by prerna nainwal


Get ready for climate-based Necromancers:

Tropical Necromancers (Beach/Rainforest/Sea)

  • Prefers skeletal minions with plant-based additions since it’s hard to keep fresh flesh in humid environments.
  • Although their undead minions are much weaker than those belonging to other Necromancers, the flora ligaments grant skeletons complete movement, flexibility, and camouflage.
  • Exposure to decomposing flesh and diverse plants leads Tropical Necromancers to pursue healing arts and botany (Necrobotany) - mostly to prevent sickness, disease, and the annoying stench of death.

Arid Necromancers (Deserts)

  • With a multitude of desert scavengers, it’s hard to collect complete bodies;  better to stitch together whatever’s found to create “mix & match” constructs of human and beast.
  • Due to each minion being unique, Arid Necromancers are the most attached to their Undead - adorning the creatures with jewelry and linen wrap clothing. 
  • Heavy maintenance and the study of compatible body parts leads the Arid Necromancer to practical medical knowledge over healing arts.
  • The unholy matrimony of mixed bodies attracts enraged spirits. Although a negative, this results in the Arid Necromancer learning Curses.

Tundra Necromancers (Ice/Mountains/Snow)

  • Colder environments results in sturdier, better preserved (although slower) undead minions.
  • Due to stronger zombies and the threat of blizzards, it’s common for Tundra Necromancers to gather resources for base building.
  • With little minion maintenance and a constant supply of zombies from adventurers perishing in the cold, Tundra Necromancers are considered to be very lazy.
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Monica Bellucci with Gianni Versace by Jean-Marie Perier, 1995




My favorite moment with my D&D group so far

They met a Demon at a crossroads, he said they had to make a deal with him or he would steal their souls. The Fighter was like, “Hey can you just wait for 5 seconds for me?” 

Demon’s like: “Alright.” 

Five seconds later the Fighter says “Alright our deal is complete” 


“What do you mean our deal is complete?” said the Demon

“Well I asked you to wait 5 seconds, then you agreed. Since you waited 5 seconds, that means our deal is complete right?”

The Demon is in shock, and so am I, the DM. This fighter just out-tricked a freakin’ demon deal by telling the demon to cool his heels for a moment I couldn’t believe it.

And this is when the demon decides to becoming a recurring pest to the party, or a legitimate threat

He actually did, he sent a “bounty hunter” chain devil named Gnev after the party.

The Bard seduced him.

January 15 2018

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“I am a drop of gold–I am molten matter returned from the core of the earth to tell you interior things—”
Anne Carson, Autobiography of Red

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